The lawyers that we hire made certain to inform us that we had to have this page.
At first, we were somewhat upset that they were making demands, but soon we realized that this page is important! We also tried out best to turn the confusing legal jargon into something easier to understand. You do not have to be confused by what you read here. It is laid out nicely in an easy to understand way. In addition, we made certain that nit is easy to read so that you do not mess up on accident and break the rules. Breaking the rules will lead to some rather bad issues for you, so, please be nice.
You do not want our lawyers coming after you.
The reason that we have this site running is so that people can use it to be entertained. We also hope that you find this site educational, informative, and can use it for communication and the gratification of your cyber sense. Please feel free to browse around the site and download things. However, do not try to manipulate any of the things on the site, as these are copyrighted, which means it is illegal to do so.
The copyrights are in place for a specific reason.
Also, do not try to transmit, modify, distribute, reuse, repost, or do anything else bad with our site. This goes for images, audio, video and any text. You cannot use these for commercial or public reasons without permission from us, and you will not receive it.
This is because you can get in a lot of trouble.
Once you start in on the site, you have no choice but to obey, there is no turning back. Ha, ha, ha!
- For the sake of anybody involved in the sites, please assume everything on the site if copyrighted unless we say it is not. You can only use what you see on our site in the way that we say. This means you have to have our permission to use it differently, which we will not give you. You should just not ask us to use anything because our lawyers are really crabby and will disallow it.
- We do try our best to put accurate information on our site for you to use. However, we cannot promise you anything. Actually, we only promise you will have fun and be entertained on our site. So, if you are thinking of using the information to cure a plague or something, do so at your own risk. We assume no liability or responsibility for anything that happens to you.
- Anybody involved in the production, delivery, or creation of this site cannot be held liable for damages suffered when using the site. Our lawyers want us to tell you a big story about this, so please understand the following is very important. Our disclaimer includes punitive, indirect, direct, consequential, and incidental damages. This means if you access our site and things happen we cannot be held liable. Also, please understand that this site is provided to you ‘as is’, so you need to use your brain when using the information on here, or following what you read. Implied, expressed, or event fitness and merchantability warranties, including non-infringement, cannot be used against us. However, some places allow excluding of warranties, so please check to make sure you are in one of these areas. Checking and keeping up with local regulations and laws can help you understand all of this, though. We realize that was a horrible amount of information to take in but we had to include it. It means that you need to be careful of what you do on this site, and realize that you cannot hold nus responsible if you do something silly and cause problems for yourself. If the site possesses your computer and causes you to grow a tail, it is not our fault. We would like pictures, though, but we cannot be held responsible. Our lawyers really want you to mess up though as they are money hungry and quite evil, but we want you to be happy and enjoy our site. Please follow our rules.
- If you wish for something to be kept secret, please do not post it on our site, bulletin board, or anywhere else online. This is because once you do post it we can do whatever we want with it. Yes, it becomes ours! Therefore, we can use it on a whim. We can disclose, reproduce, transmit, broadcast, public, and post it anywhere we want. We can send it to your father and grandparents (when we find their address), and we can do more things. We can use techniques, ideas, concepts, or any secrets that you post on our site as well. Have a way to turn water into gold? Please post it! We would love for it to become ours. We can market, develop, include, and manufacture anything you share with us.
- Any pictures of places or people on our site either belongs to us or was given to us to use. This is never something that is yours, or property you have rights too. You and your friends cannot use it unless we say so, which we will not, if you understand what we mean. Just do not bother asking. If you do use anything without permission (which is everything), you will have to deal with the unforgiving hand of the law. Keep everything you download to yourself.
And 6 More…
- There are logos, trademarks, cute things, and service marks on our site that belong to an affiliate or us. We use these with permission because we own them or they were allowed to be used. However, you have no right to them and will never get permission to use these. Please leave these items in their natural habitat on the page and everything will continue to work great for you. If you mess with any of the logos, trademarks, or service marks on the page we will become very mean and probably try to destroy your computer, as will the lawyers and anybody involved with the item you manipulated.
- You should be quite aware that we have links on our site to other sites. This is neat! However, it does not mean that we look at or monitor these sites. They might lead to alternate dimensions, or to scary sites that you never want to see. So, please understand that you browse are your own risk. If you see something that causes you to age 50 years of sheer fear, it is not our fault.
- The next important topic regards what you do while on our site. We do enjoy listening to your chats in our groups, discussions, and forums, as we have the right to. However, we assume zero responsibility or liability for what you are going to see on these. So, if you see slander, defamation, libel, omissions, obscenity, falsehoods, profanity, pornography (please, no!) or anything else vile, it is not our fault. Furthermore, please never post or transmit anything libelous, threatening, defamatory, unlawful, scary, pornographic (seriously, please, no!), inflammatory, scandalous, obscene, mean, or nasty on our site (this goes for profane things too!). Doing this means that you might have to deal with law enforcement if we feel you threatened any affiliates or us. If we are worried about you, you will be faced with a civil lawsuit in court, and have to own up to what you did.
- The software and anything on our site is protected by some lovely U.S. Patriot laws. This means if you live in Libya, North Korea, Dune, Cuba, Iran, Syria or Neptune, you cannot be here. In addition, anywhere that the US has embargoed goods is off limits. This means if you are on the US Treasury list of Specially Designated Nationals, the Table of Deny Orders, or the FBI’s Most Wanted, you cannot be here. If you are involved with these groups, please leave. In addition, kindly blow up your computer and turn yourself in as all the aforementioned places and people are off limits.
- Oh! We can also change anything on our page that we want to at any time. If we change things and you dislike them, oh well, you are stuck with them. Our programmers love doing this to keep everybody on their toes.
- In terms of the word ‘sue’, we also have some laws in places, kind of like the Geneva Convention (or something). This means that our Term of Use agreement is going to be governed by laws in the United Kingdom, regardless of any conflict of laws. If you have violated or threatened in any manner the site or any affiliates, or the rights and product of the aforementioned, you will have to deal with us, seeking injunctive and/or appropriate relief. This will be done in London. You consent to jurisdiction and venue in this place even if you do not want to. Sorry!
Other disputes will be handled with the help of a mediator that we have mutually agreed on.
This takes place in London as well, within the United Kingdom. Any fees or costs that do not involve attorney fees will be shared between us (because we care). If, however, it is impossible to deal with things this way, we will then resort to another type of binding arbitration. This will be done under the American Arbitration Act and its laws, which you do not want to have to deal with. In short, just be sure that you follow the rules. If not, you will have to go through many hoops and get the short end of the stick.
This probably sounds mean! It should be so that you understand the seriousness of the situation. Our lawyers wanted us to do some really mean things to you if you messed up that did not involve money. However, here in the United States, we outlaw torture, so they were disappointed.